October 24, 2006
October 23, 2006
Welcome to my little place in the blogosphere dedicated to the advancement of understanding concerning something that effects everybody, all the time, in every corner of the universe; those nasty little things called LIES. Wait! It just occurred to me that I have to be careful when submitting this blog to search engines that I don’t misspell the title and type ‘Pervaricator’. I’ll be accused of having a porn blog! :-)
I hope you find it interesting, informative, and witty. I appreciate any advice or suggestions you may have on how to make this blog more enjoyable and useful. Let me apologize for the length of this post. It is a subject that really gets me going.
When it comes to lying, I speak from experience. I was a terrible liar as a child, I lied even when it wasn’t necessary to do so. One day (I don’t remember the reason), I decided I was no longer going to tell lies (or at least try). Do you know how long it took to regain my family’s trust? I’m not completely sure, thirty years later, that I have. Without getting into the details, lies have cost me almost everything in life I hold dear.
Let’s take a closer look at lying. The act of deception comes in many different forms, and society has divided lying into several different categories.
Lies range from the socially acceptable ‘little white’ ones, to the detestable ‘BIG FAT’ ones. I think it’s safe to say most people do not like to be lied to.
Now I’m going back a ways here, but do you remember the game show, The $10,000 Pyramid? In it, teams of two people each (one celebrity, one contestant), play a word association game. One giving the clues, the other attempting to guess the answer. Most would agree that if given the clues: ‘I am not a crook’, ‘Iraq has weapons of mass destruction’, and ‘I did not have sexual relations with that woman’, your answer would most certainly be: ‘Lies our Presidents have told’.
What is the definition of the word ‘lie’?
(This definition courtesy of dictionary.reference.com. *My comments in italics)
lie1 [lahy] verb, lied, ly‧ing.
–noun 1. a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood. * These are the most egregious of lies;t the ‘whoppers’. These are the type of lies that damage our relationships, ruin our reputations, and start wars. Most people put the Iraqi WMD debate into this category.
2. something intended or serving to convey a false impression; imposter: His flashy car was a lie that deceived no one. * Remember this guy from High School? This category reminds me of my time in the Service. The ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ government policy of dealing with gays in the military was just being implemented. It was then, and still is today, a policy that never really fools anyone, as most servicemen can tell, even without having to ask, who is and who is not gay. I find it to be an insult to my intelligence, an insult to the gay community, and a practice that serves only to promote and advance the art of deception, and it should be abandoned. And that’s another thing. Who declared ‘deception’ an art form? I’ll save that subject for another post. On a lighter note, bad toupees, huge breast implants, Michael Jackson and most recently, Rep. Mark Foley fit quite nicely into this category.
3. an inaccurate or false statement. * Little white lies’ can be filed under this section. READ– ‘No honey, you don’t look fat in that dress’ and ‘No, really, your a stud, that thing is huge, I mean it’
4. the charge or accusation of lying: He flung the lie back at his accusers. * Is there a lawyer in the house? ;-]
Lies are so prevalent that we have categories for them. Some of which are listed here, arranged in alphabetical order.
Black Lies — Telling an untruth and attributing it to a false source. For instance, fabricated quotations. Everyone reading this has been in this boat. Whenever someone tells you ‘So and so said this and that about you know who’, you are most likely a victim of this type of deception.
Bluffing — An acceptable and often desirable form of lying. Leading someone to believe, for your own personal gain, that you possess something, such as prior knowledge, information or a winning poker hand. ‘He was a good bluffer.’ Ironically, it’s an excellent method to expose a liar. ‘Your friend’s wife told me you were at the strip club.’
Lie-to-children — The act of intentionally misinforming a child in order to protect or appease them. ‘Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus’, or responding to an inquisitive child as to how babies are made, ‘The stork brings them.’
Lying by omission – The deceptive act of allowing someone to believe something that you know not to be true by not providing them with the facts. This is another one of those socially acceptable lies. Why this is the case, I’ll never understand. This is the one form of deception that upsets me the most, perhaps because it has effected me personally. ‘I really didn’t lie to you, I just didn’t tell you the truth’.
White Lies — Lying to protect others interests or feelings. This is the most acceptable of all deceptive practices as it is viewed most times as ‘the right thing to do’, although in my opinion, it can lead to more trouble than if you had hurt someone’s feelings by being honest. For example, your husband decides to give you a break and cook dinner. It’s the worst tasting meal you ever had the pleasure of choking down but when he asks, “How do like my meatloaf?“and you reply in your sweetest voice,”Baby, it’s the best I ever had,” you run the risk of having to eat it once a week for the rest of your life. I think a more honest approach, delivered with care of course, may be the better choice. “Baby, I love you, and you know, I really appreciate all the hard work you put into this meal, but…and it pains me to say it, but it’s awful. Let’s call the sitter and go out to that restaurant where we had our first date.” The result: A) You don’t have to excuse yourself to go in the bathroom and purge, and B) Hubby is probably relieved because you appreciated the thought and he doesn’t ever have to cook again!
Take a deep breath…in through the nose, and out through the mouth…(why not the other way?)
I hope maybe, if your not already keenly aware, that lying is a destructive practice, with far-reaching consequences. Maybe with this blog, and with your help, we can make this world a more honest place, but more importantly, a better place.
I look forward to hearing what you have to say. Thanks! David